At a time in the world where unemployment is the highest it’s been in years, electro music is being fed to meatheads as though it were a newly discovered substitute for muscle milk, and 60% of adults in Swaziland have AIDS, the last thing we need is to be stripped of our beloved Conan O’Brien.

NBC, we know you’re hurting, but to force Conan out of a spot that you teased him with for six full years and that he’s only held for 7 months, is nothing short of a crime. Not only are you destroying the integrity of the Tonight Show, but you’re simultaneously showing your preferential affinity for Jay Leno (a man who’s time in the spotlight could hardly be considered short) and his generically generated ratings, by thrice forcing poor Co Co to follow a show that, frankly, isn’t even that good.

Don’t take Conan for granted. He’s the guy who never went Hollywood. He’s the guy that will smile and wave when you see him on the street instead of hiding behind his coat collar and a pair of sunglasses. He’s the guy that brought his own personality to TV and let a young generation of people who appreciate his humor become his fanbase, rather than simply adapting to the adults 50+ demographic that makes up the plurality of TV viewers, and at the same time, he’s also the guy that would be too humble to ever admit it.

If this is goodbye to the man who can make me laugh amid even the deepest despair, then NBC, you’ve successful submerged yourself in the pool of fallen enterprises and have become indistinguishable from the rest of the broken corporations out there who simply cannot fathom the value of art.

Conan, on the off chance that you’re an Uh Oh Disco fan and are reading this, I salute you, and Andy, and Max, and La Bamba, and that hilarious back stage guy that randomly show up in your skits, and everyone else that helped define my childhood. You’re the man. And I swear, there will be a point in my life where I will walk into a barber shop (in slow motion, I might add) with a picture of your face in hand.