That is until about two days ago, when, for some strange and completely unknown reason, the electronic anthems that should have been blasting at our new years parties started pouring into my inbox. I can only assume that the worlds most respected and admired producers were suffering from the effects of the same musical drought that I myself (and I would expect most of you would include yourselves as well) had been struggling through, and were therefor compelled to tap into their reserves and quench this unexpected and entirely unnecessary audio thirst, because after listening to a third consecutive sweaty, peak hour banger, I found myself struggling to convince myself that I was, indeed, at home at my computer, and not losing my mind on a hotly animated dance floor. (And no, Daft Punk was not playing at my house.)

Chewy Chocolate Cookies & JFK

Considering everything the guy touches turns to gold, I feel it’s quite unnecessary to have to comment on the quality and originality of JFK’s work, but may I say that when combined with the blurry confusion of Chewy Chocolate Cookies, it only gets crazier. In fact, placing this track first may have been a mistake, seeing as it’s a gamble as to whether you’ll be capable of reading any further once this smeared mess of sound has been rubbed all over your face.

Alexander Technique – Nightlovers (JFK & Chewie Chocolate Cookies Remix)

SPA and Steve Aoki

Now is definitely an opportune time to make yourself aware of Dim Mak’s newly signed artist, SPA, seeing as your failure to acknowledge their increasingly loud presence in this tightly knit community could result in a flat out slap to the face; You’ll be owned harder than the meathead in DJ Mehdi’s Signatune video. If you ever cared to know what the soundtrack to Steve Aoki’s life sounds like, here’s your chance to find out.

SPA – Pets Dance (Steve Aoki Remix)

The Bloody Beetroots

You heard Cornelius. You thought it was a sick track. But you had no idea there was a music video coming, and you were certainly not prepared. The fact that the whole thing was filmed using the generic handicam seems to suggest that The Bloody Beetroots have keenly embraced Justice’s now notorious cinematography, however, the style with which it was put together is able to truly capture the sense of complete chaoss and loss of control far more vividly than either A Cross the Universe or Soulwax’s Part of the Weekend Never Dies even came close to delivering, and it’s only three minutes long!

This needs no further explanation. Watch the video, and trust me when I say you won’t regret it.

CORNELIUS from borntofilm on Vimeo

I’m sure you all remember the first time you heard these guys, yeah?  It probably went something like this: “Chewie chocolate cookies, eh?  I wonder what these guys are all about.  (You feel a little hungry, and then you start to think about how much you miss your grandmother’s cooking, which leaves you feeling strangely disarmed……sucker.)  

WHAM!

The track finishes downloading, automatically plays in iTunes, knocks you over backwards in your chair, and before you can even consider how amazing that first note would have sounded had it not caused so much physical harm, you’re left lying helplessly unconscious on the floor.  

Now, I realize there aren’t very many people that actually appreciate being slapped in the face, but whether you like it or not, it’s about to happen all over again.  These yummy pastries have just released an even yummier debut ep entitled Pepites (There’s supposed to be an accent over the e, but unfortunately, that particular character has proven itself exceptionally difficult to find), and I’d suggest that if you’d like to have your brain stretched into dimensions that you weren’t aware existed, that you take a peek.  It’s crammed full of the familiar dizzying noises that seem to be exclusively licensed to The Cookies themselves, as well as some totally new techniques (some exceptional use of a vocoder) that, when combined, form a musical structure that is both relevant and unheard of at the same time.  Must I convince you further?  What have you got to lose?  All the support groups for Chewy Chocolate Cookies related musical trauma make recovery quick and easy.

I’ll throw up one of my favorites pieces.  (Has there ever been a track called “Time” that wasn’t damn near perfect?)

 
Chewy Chocolate Cookies – Time
 

Danger

Pulling more from the French, Ekleroshock Records (Yes, it’s spelled right), remix master, Danger, has recently hooked us up with yet another epic remix,  this time drawing from the very ambiguously located producer SymbolOne.  I know I’ve said it before, but I just have to give Danger credit for his ability to fabricate such thick and moving soundscapes;  Don’t get me wrong, the original is pretty gosh darned good, but Danger just takes it to the next level. Everytime this track comes on, I get this sentimental feeling, like I should be watching some ridiculous Saving Private Ryan montage in slow motion or something. –Granted most of you are likely significantly more normal than I…  Anyhow, the man’s got talent, the manifestation of which will soon being filling that unexplained hole in your soul.  

Symbolone – Love Juice (Danger remix)