You know that one section at CVS/Walgreens/Duane Reade that rotates its merchandise depending on whatever holiday is coming up next? The “seasonal aisle” has milk chocolate bunnies and pink Peeps around Easter. Then it’s filled with red, white and blue everything for the 4th of July—beads, sparklers, napkins and top hats. The stores are usually pretty good about staying up-to-date (and even better at giving great discounts in the days immediately after a holiday). But one holiday always gets special treatment.
This year, the CVS around the corner from me had its Christmas stuff for sale before Halloween. In mid-October, aisle #3 was an awkward mix of fake vampire teeth and candy canes, plastic pumpkin baskets and stringed red lights. One holiday at a time, please. Here’s an idea about all things Christmas—nothing until December 1st. I think it’s a pretty reasonable policy, especially considering how many people don’t celebrate Christmas but still have to suffer through its all-encompassing grip on American consumer culture. Christmas shouldn’t last for three months. Only I have one exception to the rule: Christmas music.
Most people think my listening to Christmas music year-round is strange. Or insane. Or just unbearably depressing. Not me. I’ll listen to Jingle Bells sitting in Mexico over spring break. And I can shuffle my “Christmas Mix” all summer long without getting sick of it. Now that it’s finally December, nobody can complain. It’s time for Christmas music, like it or not. I’ve got a whole month—err, 24 days—until it’s weird again. The tracks below are remixes of your old holiday classics. Enjoy the Christmas music while you can, before the holiday arrives and your tone-deaf relatives ruin your favorite songs by trying to sing along.